Remember that meme?
It shows up after a tragedy. But it’s true, isn’t it?
Some us have a core leyline, deep in our central intentions for this life experience to aid and abet, lift and shift and to sing the closed windows open.
I’m one of them.
But I had an idea of myself that blocked me from following the genuine fun of being a helper in a way that would have likely led to a magical and thriving and daring endeavor. Instead my mind set up a business and then I tried to put my life into that business, right, that’s how it goes? I mean if I've learned anything from all those Aussie millionaires on youtube commercials ... But my real life kept leaking out around the edges of my mind's safe plan for me.
So I just fucking quit.
The juice just was no longer there for me anymore and my dreams had stopped talking to me because I had stopped really talking to them. So I stopped doing work that my mind knew was safe and made room to actually talk with my dream, not in a bullshit, pre-dismissive way, like, when we’re stuck talking to a person we think is nutz on a plane or something and we just endure but not truly experience, but in a revelatory, fascinated, hanging on every word, please don't stop talking kind of way.
And, IT’S GOING REALLY WELL. I’m having a lot of fun kind of just tenderly apprenticing myself to the stuff that really brings me alive, and how nice and porous and natural that is. And the joy meter is kind of off the charts right now. All the energy I was devoting to doing this thing I thought I had to do, is suddenly free to explore the life I actually want to live. And money’s just working out easier and funner and more magically than ever. And the curiosity and wonderment is rising with each day. I find myself with gobs of freshly minted time. I sit on the floor and talk a long while with my two year old friend. I have no where else in the world to be except with my beloved older painter friend as we listen to a poem about Rothko and cry together.
And new projects I could never have seen before are coming in, more exciting and full of mission energy and alchemy and magic up the butt! And I’m loving the funky fresh feeling of freedom I’m approaching it all with. I feel so devil may care, but with tons and tons of caring. I care about resonance. I care about what makes us all come alive and daring to build a life there. I care about courage and I care about caring.
But there’s something deliciously rascally about this unknowingness about what comes next. My mind isn’t allowed to fill in the script because what happens next for me isn’t something I’ve ever seen and my mind can only fill in what it already knows, so part of the delicious pure fun of this deepening is that it’s absolutely pistol-whipping me back into a proper dance with my magic ass self. Only my most deeply connected, plugged all the way into the magic self knows how to take the next true step.
May your own magic set your damn life on fire
love from the deep