A new wheeled thing?
yes. yes I do yes.
But an interesting thing happened as the bike STARTED HELPING me of its own sentient accord: I freaked the butt out.
I wasn't ready for it's assistfulness (do I KNOW you?) and started to get rigid and reactive against the help.
You ever had someone be "helpful" only it ends up in you cleaning gallons of cake batter off the cupboard and counters? Or when you feel shameful in your struggle and someone's help makes you feel like the last crumpled ball of trash that ever did crumple.
While my experienced mountain biker friend sailed majestically on up ahead, seeming to whistle AND sing simultaneously, clearly happy with the assistance these marvelous machines offered, I was frantically trying to shut my assistance thingy OFF so I could go back to the plain old hard huff and puff that I was used to, even though it was more difficult and no way was I going to keep up with Mr. Whistle up there, it was what I knew. Feel the metaphor coming?
Of course I clutched the brakes too hard and flew over my handlebars onto my human and very softy face. Of course there was a convention of golfers conventioning at that exact spot.
The golfers don't have anything to do with anything I just want you to have a sense of things.
What has something to do with something is this idea that we have to collaborate with the help life gives us and if we fight it we're gonna go ass over tea kettle. I'm guessing if you're reading this that life is opening some helpful portal up and it's possible you may feel frightened, too small or not ready for it. The newness may trigger your suspicion which you'll hide behind, or it may make you edgy because it's inviting that scared part of you to come out and dance and that feels fucking terrifying.
What if you gave a little loving energy to those Making Small voices instead? Know what that feels like? To be more gentle on you, to be more approving of your choices, to be less willing to talk shit about you to you or anyone, to let compliments in more, to keep track of the beauty you bring into the world? So you can be a little more in range and take the joy assist when it comes?
And (more importantly) next time show those golfing fools what's what.
love in the time of tea kettles,