How many of your creative and deep-diving comrades have very split relationships with the quality of the conversation they're having with the world via Fb and it's overall effect on their ability to enter and deliciously engage their own truest lives?
Yeah, me too.
But I never understood what that struggle was about until I saw it through my new lens of Depth Perspective.
And since I'm at the beautiful mercy of my dare to post 100 days from the deep, here's some thots on how to build strong, deep traction with social media rather than having it pile drive your precious attention into a thousand splinters.
1. scroll with your ear to the ground.
Buffalo are coming your way! But you've got to put your ear to the ground so you can tell which direction and how close and do you want to shoot one and eat it and make a teepee out of it's hide? Wait, what? (This metaphor stopped working approximately at the exact moment I started using it) Anyway, the point is, Life, the deep honey flow of your connection to All that Is is ALWAYS talking with you, flowing answers, solutions, connections, insights through and to you and any open portal is gonna be where the answers and things show, (path of least resistance and all of that.) But it cannot flow clearly to you if that portal is clogged with shame, confusion, and any manner of unchosen stuff. Which leads me to point 2
2. Get weird with it. Make peace with the voyeur part of you. WE ALL LIKE TO WATCH SOMETIMES. Get over it.
We get inspired by each other's experiences. We find relevant threads in the stories of others that we need to weave into our own myth. We are uplifted by the bravery and chin-up-ness of our sweet fellow humans. We also find pleasure in watching people do stuff. All kinds of stuff. But most of us aren't experiencing that pleasure in a clean, unshamey way and so we're still freaking doing it but through a lense of self judgement that keeps us from accessing what the spark is actually calling you to. What is the shared spark to collaborate more wonderous, deep and comprehensive ways calling us to? How do we have some integrity around that sparking? Shame helps no one to properly translate a spark. So, get weird with it. Repeat after me "I like to watch, and..."
3. share with a clear heart
What's your "what for" on facebook? Why are you participating in it? For me, the most fun (right this minute) is to participate in a collaborative deepening. I want more conversations that have people's Source perspective involved. So my "what for" right now is to share my current inspiration and to invite people into the deep. I used to restrict my newsfeed to only inspiring stuff but that got super boring, because I was SCANNING, skimming, no deep engagement, no traction, no heart or soul traction and so only my mind was involved in the "inspiration" which isn't that inspiring at all because my mind is like, "o, yeah, I already know everything so shut up." (my mind has a VAST capacity for supermegabrat) In small groups, with very narrow focuses, I find deep delight in reading the 10 things gratitude lists in "10 things I effing love about now." It's an example of a well-designed group where people only share from a clear heart. Some genius built that group.
4. dare to be bare
Intimacy is sexy. Photoshopped glimpses of idyllic lives really worked for Norman Rockwell and Nicole Simpson but is boring for anyone with a propensity for deep engagement, why? Because it has no resonance. A false account of a life is a veiled and unacknowledged judgement on what is actually happening. There a 1000 legit reasons we edit our photos and only share our wins, but that creates a culture that has no skills at having fun with the full range of human experience and it fosters an atmosphere of dishonesty and very little genuine curiosity. Erotica is the glimpse of something truly resonant with our soul. The deep diving folks I have had the honor to dance with, far prefer erotica to porn because it has room for the howl, the distance and the entrance of the moon, too. Dare to share you howl you beautiful wild hearted fools.
5. make it hard
this one is as challenging as hiding a paper trail in a nineties cop show, but it's a smarty thing to do if you can pull it off. We're born with very little will power, (that's what makes us so charmingly dingbatty,) but we often rely on our pinch of salt-sized amount of will power to do pyramid sized tasks. And then we feel really inadequate and even more dingbatty than ever, each time that completely shitty strategy fails. Acknowledging that often, we'll do the easiest and most easily accessible thing, to give us a jolt of pleasure, is important to designing a life that can accommodate deep, Source-merged knowingness in all things. For example, in our home, internet is not there. We leave our phones on the tech shelf most of the time. We deliberately make social media a little difficult to access so that other, quieter, and more comprehensively engaging things might have a chance of catching our attention, like the kiddo who wants me to help him build his first fort, or the poem I was working on before I got that notification that someone had liked something I wrote and 2 hours later I'm frazzled, drained by my massive spectating and so totally uninspired that I can't even remember what I was doing before the super important notification came in.
6. like it if you like it
mostly I'm writing this one because I don't want to end on a bitter and snarky note that #5 really left lingering out there. As a person who helps people to recover their innate relationship with joy, I play a lot and games are only as strong as their feedback loop. For example, marriage is a game. If one person stops positively feedbacking into the loop, the game dies. If that person takes their feedback and gives it to another, as in the case of an affair, then the game of monogomous marriage stops. Facebook has the potential to be a deep game, but only if people authentically participate. Some of us are shy of liking someone's expression even when we really do like it, as if we're in 8th grade and we don't want the cute girl to know we "like" her. I see the like and share and wow buttons as a way of contributing your authentic energy back into the loop, so that the game of facebook has a more accurate and authentic feedback loop. I love what happens to a shared game when the people get brave about expressing what's really real for them. It's like falling in love, o wait, it's EXACTLY falling in love, cuz that's where the Deep is always calling you to.
Love from the Deep,