Last night, after approximately a zillion laughing, and still-dancing people left my office, (post-community Sex Talk) my son, after watching me speed-type my post, coming in a few hairs under midnight, quietly said, “maybe it would be easier if you start writing these things a little earlier in the day?”
Gosh, yes. Maybe it would. But see, I'm still falling in love with time in her deepest form, and I still have habits of distraction and unintentionalness that keeps swimming in the shallow end of time some days. Time, like all the other areas of my life, is very actively being hauled, ass over tea kettle, into The Deep, where my most connected awareness is present and accounted for.
You know what I mean by that? It’s a very simple distinction, if you don't feel in control or proud of an area of your life, it hasn't gone deep yet and doesn't represent your deeper values. I find that having a thriving and well-examined relationship with time is one of the cornerstones of living well and happily. So here are some tips out of my journey from Time-starved weeny to A time affluent queen of the moment
1. Change your freaking story.
I got SO BORED OF MYSELF saying I didn’t have enough time. I know that my life correlates exactly to what I order up and so I was just lazily and perpetually ordering up a whole heaping pile of time shortage and all the stress and disatisfaction that comes along with that. Bleh.
So, one day I decided to try the story I wanted: I am time-FAT. I am affluent with time. I am ROLLING in time.
Did I believe it at the time? No. Not one teeny weeny bit, but as Louise Hay explains, the repetition of an affirmation can be a really fun and effective way to journey ourselves to the distant-feeling mountains of where we wish we were. Fast forward to now where I feel like I have a magical relationship with time. It seems to expand and I am richly engaging SO MANY more moments! The lack of anxiety itself frees up so much more of my energy and contributes massively to my overall vibration of ease and freedom and delightedness.
2. Time lock
this is one of the sexiest concepts I know of because it helps with one of the central confusions I see clients and friends struggling with, they are chronically so split in their attention that they only devote a small fragment of their total resources to a task, conversation or moment and then aren’t satisfied with the outcome. They tend to be fuzzy, inarticulate and kind of checked out. They also have a hard time tapping into that deeper creative whooshing where things just flow beautifully and it feels effortless and you get to be carried along and your body gets flooded with all these endorphins and you enter a state of extreme clarity and inspiration called flow state.
When people get too familiar with their divided, distracted selves this affects their confidence and clarity about the depths of who they Really are.
Habits of distraction keep people from operating out of their Deepest selves and this costs everything they participate in from that distracted state. So, longstory very long, timelocking is a way to reclaim your capacity to go deep and deeper and deeper still. To timelock on a project, you decide how long this needs from you, then you make sure nothing needs doing on your part during those hours, then you tell people to leave you the eff alone for that time span, then you shut off or go away from all the distractions, then you fucking GO FOR IT. Let the time deadline drive your focus and compel of you to this party of whatever you’re doing. It’s SO FUN to be fully present. It’s seriously the basis of any real fun.
4. Splat n’ sort - with high buzz prioritization
I like to get out a piece of paper, my “drawing board” as Kate Hudson calls it, and just splat out whatever is vying for my attention in my mind, all of it.
Big sigh of relief. When you are using our minds to remember things we can't use that same resource to have real presence with and actually deal with them.
And after it’s down, I sort by the things that are genuinely buzzing for me and give my life's attention to those by scheduling in presence with them. I also see what needs delegating away, or what is a stuck area that needs some energy work to be able to move better. These energy work pieces are the biggest time drains because I’m out of sync with where my life is calling me and it takes a lot of energy and work to be out of sync with your deepest self.
5. Flip distractions into sexy rewards
I’ve not tried this one but am excited about it because there's something about falling so hard in love with The Deep, the unfettered, the clear abiding land of yesness that you can easily see when something will distract you away from the deep engagement rather than taking you deeper.
So, instead of habitually doing social media check or browsing as an automatic and not that fun thing, you can use it as a reward for timelocking on something that matters to you and takes you deep. The energy with which we approach something determines its value to our overall life. In deepening my relationship with time I don’t have dissatisfaction with social media, but with the energy of my participation in it. This reminds me of how when I stopped watching netflixy kind of stuff on my own, a logical result was that my television and screen time when down drastically.
Now, when I go out to a movie with a beloved it’s almost unspeakably thrilling. I feel so available to the big boom wha of the color and lights and sounds, I feel So available to joy in a bigger than ever way because because I’ve primed myself to a full and joyful receptivity with the experience by not filling up my cup with meh experiences. In my clear, deeply connected state, watching netflix alone is almost never my highest yes. There’s too much art to be bloomed, too many songs to sing, too many children to play with in the river, lovers to go deep with, mountains to be sailed over, tree houses to be built.
May this week bring you new thrills in your human dance with Time.
love from the Deep,